Ah, September. The month where kids grudgingly return to school, pumpkin spice infiltrates everything from coffee to candle wax, and Netflix once again plays with our emotions by adding and removing content like a fickle ex who keeps changing the terms of your relationship. As summer fades, so do some of our favorite titles, but fear not, because new gems are just around the corner. Let’s dive into the glorious, the “meh,” and the “how dare you” moments that Netflix is throwing at us in September 2024.
The Newbies: Fresh Content You’ll Pretend You’re Too Busy to Watch
1. Stranger Things, Season 5: The Beginning of the End
Yes, folks, it’s finally happening! After what feels like 84 years (and enough teasers to make even the most dedicated fans wonder if the show was ever going to return), “Stranger Things” graces us with its highly anticipated fifth season. The kids are older now—like, really older—and the stakes have never been higher. We’re promised more 1980s nostalgia, more hair-raising moments, and hopefully, an actual explanation for whatever the Upside Down really is. Expect tears, terror, and at least one elaborate conspiracy theory on Reddit within the first 48 hours of release.
But be warned: This is only the first part of the final season, so Netflix is giving us the classic two-part farewell. Because nothing says, “We care about you” like emotionally manipulating you over the span of several months.
2. The Crown, Final Season: Royals Behaving (More) Badly
After much anticipation and royal gossip, “The Crown” returns for its grand finale. This season is set to cover the scandal-ridden early 2000s, including a deep dive into Prince Harry’s rebellious youth and the media circus that followed the royal family around like a paparazzi-fueled dark cloud. Prepare for high drama, stiff upper lips, and perhaps the most uncomfortable family dynamics this side of “Succession.”
Whether you’re a monarchist or you just enjoy a good tiara meltdown, this final season promises to be both gripping and a little sad. After all, where else can we watch fictionalized royals ruin their lives with such impeccable British manners?
3. Avatar: The Last Airbender (Live-Action Series): Second Time’s the Charm?
Let’s face it: the world is still healing from the scars left by M. Night Shyamalan’s 2010 live-action film adaptation of Avatar: The Last Airbender. But hope springs eternal, and Netflix is giving us a second chance with this brand-new, highly anticipated live-action series. The casting looks promising, the visuals are slick, and the story is, well, hopefully as magical as the original animated series. Cross your fingers and toes—this could either be redemption or another cringe-worthy disaster. But hey, that’s the Netflix gamble, isn’t it?
4. The Fall of the House of Usher: Gothic Horror Done Right
Just in time for spooky season, Netflix is blessing us with The Fall of the House of Usher, a dark and twisted gothic series based on Edgar Allan Poe’s work. Think haunted mansions, tragic family legacies, and characters who really should have considered therapy a few decades ago. This one promises all the eerie vibes you need for those cool September nights, with enough literary references to make you feel smart while you binge-watch it alone under a blanket.
5. One Piece, Season 2: More Pirate Shenanigans
The live-action adaptation of One Piece blew away fans in its first season, surprising skeptics who were prepared for another anime-to-live-action flop. Season 2 promises more high-seas adventure, ridiculous characters, and world-building that’s as expansive as it is absurd. So, if you’ve always wanted to watch pirates with devil fruit powers engage in battles that defy logic and physics, this is your show.
Leaving Netflix: Get Ready for Some Painful Goodbyes
Of course, for every bit of new content, something old must die—because Netflix is cruel like that. September 2024 brings a long list of shows and movies that are packing their bags and heading out the door, leaving us clutching our remotes and wondering why we didn’t binge-watch them sooner. Let’s take a look at some of the heart-wrenching departures.
1. Friends: Could This BE Any More Painful?
We knew this day was coming, and yet, we refused to accept it. Friends, the comfort show of an entire generation, is officially leaving Netflix this month. It feels like saying goodbye to, well, actual friends. Where will we go now when we need to hear Chandler’s sarcastic quips, Rachel’s questionable fashion choices, or Joey’s painfully endearing stupidity?
The real question is: Will anyone ever sign up for Peacock just to rewatch Friends? Doubtful. Maybe this is Netflix’s secret revenge against us for always comparing every sitcom to Friends. Touché, Netflix. Touché.
2. The Office (US): Michael Scott’s Final Dundie
In another gut punch to fans of classic sitcoms, The Office is also leaving Netflix in September. After years of being the background noise to countless awkward Zoom calls, Netflix is finally pulling the plug. Michael Scott, Dwight Schrute, and Jim Halpert are heading off to the great streaming service in the sky—or, you know, somewhere more corporate like Peacock. As we say goodbye, just remember: Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
3. The Matrix Trilogy: No More Red Pills for You
If you were planning to rewatch The Matrix trilogy to remind yourself what good action sequences look like before The Matrix 5 inevitably disappoints, you’d better do it fast. Come the end of September, Netflix is kicking Neo, Trinity, and Morpheus off the platform. Perhaps they’ve simply decided that The Matrix was too ahead of its time for today’s TikTok generation, or maybe they just don’t want us getting any ideas about breaking free from our digital overlords.
Either way, it’s a loss—especially if you need a refresher course on existential crises wrapped in black leather and slow-motion action scenes.
4. Pulp Fiction: Say Goodbye to Tarantino’s Masterpiece
If you’re one of the five people left on Earth who hasn’t seen Pulp Fiction, first of all—what are you doing with your life? Second, you’d better get on it before September ends, because this Quentin Tarantino classic is leaving Netflix. No more Royale with Cheese, no more dancing Travolta, and no more bewildering monologues about foot massages.
Sure, it’s probably available for rent on 17 other streaming services, but that’s not the point. The point is that we’re losing it, and we’ll probably complain about it for months while not doing anything about it. That’s the Netflix way, after all.
5. Jurassic Park Trilogy: Dinosaurs Are Extinct… Again
We’ve done it, folks. We’ve killed the dinosaurs… again. The Jurassic Park trilogy is being yanked off Netflix, which means no more epic T-Rex roars, no more Jeff Goldblum in full chaotician mode, and no more running from raptors in kitchens. If you haven’t relived the thrill of these prehistoric blockbusters yet, September is your last chance to pretend you understand genetic engineering and cheer for CGI dinosaurs from the ‘90s.
The Ones You Won’t Miss (But Netflix Still Wants You to Know About)
Not everything leaving Netflix this September will make you cry into your microwaved popcorn. Some departures might actually free up space for things you want to watch, instead of that one movie you added to your queue out of boredom three years ago and still haven’t watched. A quick shout-out to the content leaving that you probably won’t miss:
- Sharknado (All of Them): Seriously, why did we let this happen? Goodbye, and don’t let the flying sharks hit you on the way out.
- Reality Shows You Pretended to Hate: There’s always at least one guilty pleasure reality show leaving Netflix that we swore we weren’t watching. Too Hot to Handle, I’m looking at you.
- Every Forgettable Action Movie Ever: You know the ones—generic explosions, wooden dialogue, and a plot that involves saving the world for the millionth time. Good riddance.
Conclusion: The September Shuffle
So there you have it—September 2024 on Netflix is all about highs, lows, and emotional turmoil. New content is coming in hot, while beloved classics are slipping away, and we’re left to cope with the aftermath. But as any seasoned Netflix user knows, this cycle of joy and heartbreak is part of the experience. It’s what keeps us on our toes, keeps us subscribing, and keeps us wondering what will happen next month.
Until then, grab your remote, settle in, and prepare to feel all the feelings. And whatever you do—watch Friends one last time. You’ll regret it if you don’t.
