Ah, September. The month of pumpkin spice lattes, kids going back to school, and that undeniable breeze of anticipation as we realize the year’s almost over. What better way to ignore the existential dread of time’s rapid march than by diving headfirst into the offerings on Amazon Prime? With a lineup of both new and departing titles, Amazon has decided to stir up our emotional stability yet again. Some shows and movies are arriving to make you question your life choices, while others are cruelly snatched away, forcing you to finally face that pile of laundry you’ve been ignoring for weeks. Let’s break down the highlights.
New on Amazon Prime in September 2024
1. The Chair: Season 3
Debuts September 3, 2024
Who knew academia could be this dramatic? Oh, right, everyone who’s ever been to grad school. The quirky comedy-drama starring Sandra Oh is back, and this time, it’s tackling an even grimmer academic reality: post-pandemic budgets. With professors walking on eggshells trying not to offend anyone, students demanding less homework in exchange for mental health days, and a Dean who’s taken up TikTok to stay “relevant,” this season promises more biting wit and dark humor. If you’ve ever felt the suffocating weight of a thousand unread emails, you’ll find this oddly therapeutic.
2. The Great British Baking Show: Soggy Bottoms Edition
Premieres September 10, 2024
Yes, The Great British Baking Show is still around, and no, it hasn’t changed. But that’s precisely why we love it. The tent, the cakes, the passive-aggressive comments about crumb structure—it’s like a warm blanket in a chaotic world. This special “Soggy Bottoms” edition features all your favorite disasters, from the contestant who’s left a pie in the oven so long it’s now fossilized to the poor soul who misreads a recipe and accidentally creates a seven-tiered butter sculpture instead of a cake. Nothing says comfort like watching people more stressed than you.
3. Fast & Furious 16: Faster and Furiouser
Available September 15, 2024
In what can only be described as the cinematic equivalent of a midlife crisis, the Fast & Furious franchise returns. This time, the gang—now pushing 50—takes to the high seas in souped-up yachts because, as Dominic Toretto himself says, “Family knows no limits, not even nautical ones.” Expect gravity-defying stunts, plot twists that make no sense, and at least three heartfelt speeches about loyalty. Let’s face it, at this point, we’re not here for the storyline; we’re here to see Vin Diesel glower at the camera while holding a wrench.
4. Spooky Season: A Horror Anthology
Drops September 22, 2024
Amazon’s trying its hand at a horror anthology, because nothing screams “prime content” like terrifying short stories that will make you question whether that creak in your house was just the wind. The series features tales from renowned horror directors, each more unsettling than the last. From possessed chatbots (hitting a little too close to home, huh?) to haunted TikTok influencers, Spooky Season taps into today’s deepest fears: technology, social media, and the omnipresent threat of student loan debt.
5. The Politician’s Wife: Season 2
Premieres September 25, 2024
Political dramas are never truly out of style, but The Politician’s Wife has managed to make them interesting again by focusing on the real power behind the scenes. Season 2 picks up where the first left off, with the titular wife navigating scandals, backstabbing aides, and the occasional moral dilemma. Think House of Cards, but with fewer power suits and more passive-aggressive family dinners. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to clean up your spouse’s mess on a national stage, this is your jam.
Leaving Amazon Prime in September 2024
But for every new arrival, there’s a casualty. Amazon is ruthlessly cleaning house, and some of your favorites are heading out the door, leaving you scrambling to fit in one last binge-watch before they’re gone forever.
1. Parks and Recreation
Leaving September 10, 2024
Prepare your tissues, folks, because Parks and Recreation is getting the boot. This means your beloved Leslie Knope, Ron Swanson, and the whole Pawnee gang will soon vanish into the streaming void. Yes, you can still quote Ron’s “I’m not interested in caring about people” monologues at work, but without the backdrop of Pawnee’s lovable chaos, it just doesn’t hit the same. If you haven’t rewatched the “Treat Yo’ Self” episode recently, now’s the time. Consider this your urgent reminder that life is fleeting, but waffles are forever.
2. The Twilight Saga
Gone September 18, 2024
Yes, you read that right. The sparkly vampires and the werewolves with questionable shirt-on policies are leaving Amazon Prime. If you haven’t experienced the angsty, slightly problematic love triangle that captivated a generation, September’s your last chance. Whether you’re Team Edward, Team Jacob, or Team “This Whole Thing Makes No Sense,” watching Twilight is a rite of passage. Don’t worry, it’ll probably resurface on some other streaming service, but for now, prepare your nostalgia goggles.
3. Mad Men
Leaving September 25, 2024
No more suave, cigarette-smoking Don Draper gracing your screen after this month. Mad Men, the show that gave every ad exec license to wear a skinny tie and drink whiskey at noon, is bidding farewell. For those who haven’t watched it yet, Mad Men is a time capsule into an era where misogyny was rampant, smoking was cool, and making terrible life decisions in a suit was apparently the pinnacle of masculinity. Binge it while you can, but don’t be surprised if you suddenly feel the need to down a martini at 11 a.m.
4. The Office (U.S.)
Exits September 28, 2024
You thought it would stay forever, didn’t you? Well, Dwight Schrute and Michael Scott are packing up their hilariously awkward office antics and leaving Amazon Prime. It’s hard to imagine life without The Office; it’s been the background noise to so many of our mundane tasks, like folding laundry, washing dishes, and checking our phones while pretending to work. Once it’s gone, you’ll have to find another show to watch passively while answering emails. Good luck with that.
5. Sherlock (BBC)
Disappearing September 30, 2024
The iconic Benedict Cumberbatch-led Sherlock series is also saying its goodbyes this month. Sure, it’s only four seasons long, but each episode is like a mini-movie of mind-bending detective work, British wit, and, of course, Cumberbatch’s intense cheekbones. If you haven’t watched Sherlock dramatically deducing his way through London, well, what are you even doing with your free time? It’s cerebral, it’s gripping, and it’s almost gone.
The Emotional Rollercoaster: Amazon Prime’s September Shuffle
Every September, Amazon Prime’s content shuffle feels like a blend of Christmas morning excitement and funeral-level sorrow. On one hand, you get to binge fresh content that’ll have you glued to your couch. On the other hand, those leaving titles you’ve procrastinated on are about to disappear, reminding you once again that life is short, and so are streaming contracts.
As new shows and movies debut, it’s easy to get caught up in the frenzy. But there’s something about saying goodbye to an old favorite that hits different. It’s like Amazon is saying, “Here’s a shiny new toy! But also, remember that thing you loved? Yeah, we’re taking that away now. Enjoy!”
So, as we roll into September, armed with our remotes and overly specific streaming algorithms, let us embrace the new while paying our respects to the departed. Because in the world of streaming, nothing lasts forever—except, perhaps, for the sheer number of Fast & Furious movies. Those, it seems, are eternal.
